Undies
by halfhuman123
Summary: Penguins of Madagascar, HUMANIZED. Just what the title says. Rico, Private, Skilene, and Navi's here too. Read and review. Rated T for undies. Obviously.


**_Undies_**

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It was almost six o'clock, and Marlene, Skipper, Rico and Private were playing a game of Texas Hold'em to pass the time. There was nothing good on TV just then, and they always enjoyed each others company. Tonight, Marlene was telling a story about a young girl she saw on TV, who had turned to a life of crime, just because her teacher was "unfair".

"She was so out of line, though. She didn't have to shoot all those people." Marlene argued, as she saw Skipper raise. She placed some of her chips on the table and continued. "I mean, right through the base of the skull. You could see everything, all the brains and there was blood everywhere and--"

Skipper frowned at her and glanced at Private. "Marlene, please! Private still has his innocence, let's not get into too many graphics. It'll ruin him." The young boy frowned. At fourteen he was still the smallest member of the team, and the youngest, a fact which he was constantly reminded. He didn't think that a few icky graphics would ruin him, though. He didn't mind blood and gore on the television, he probably wouldn't in real life, either. "I'll see your ten... and raise you another ten!" He announced, passing to his left—Private.

No matter how old he felt, however, he thought he would never get the hang of this game. He folded, and Rico grinned crazily. He knew he had a winning hand. He went all in, and the other two at the table traded shifty glances, but stayed where they were. He put his hand down... all aces. Skipper slammed his hand down as Marlene put her head in her hands. But Rico didn't care, he had the pot. In his excitement to grab his winnings, he accidentally knocked his soda—grape—all over Marlene's long yellow shirt.

She gasped and stood up, and Rico scrambled to pick up the can and get paper towels. "Crap! Well, if this doesn't..." The woman's boyfriend, Skipper, went to see if there was anything he could do to help, but she held up a hand. "No, it's fine, I just have to change." She said, shifting the shirt around a little. In Skipper's mind, though, he thought she was going to change... right then and there. He raised his arm to cover Private's eyes, and just as Marlene was going to ridicule him for being stupid, Private spoke up and said something even stupider.

"Yeah, like I've never seen a girls underwear before." The room got deathly silent and the blackness in front of the boy's eyes slid away, to reveal two very confused faces, and one very excited one. Suddenly, the room was very, very warm, and Private was having a little trouble breathing. "Uh... that is... what I meant to say was... is... was that... wha... like in a store."

It was pointless. The damage had been done, and no one bought that excuse. Skipper seemed the most shocked. He knew the kid for his whole life, had been like a father to him, had known he was just a cute and innocent kid... until about thirty seconds ago. Now he seemed like some stranger who was a pervert. "Who's underwear did you see?" Marlene asked, completely forgetting about her sticky shirt. Skipper shot her a horrified look and grunted his objection. He didn't even want to know that Private knew girls HAD underwear, he did NOT want to know who's he had seen! He was just too shocked to even say anything. Rico, behind her back, was proud of the kid. He figured that he was going to be a 'little kid' for ages, and not even realize what made girls special for a while yet. Rico smirked, and gave Private the thumbs up, causing him to go a little redder. He did NOT need this right now, he thought, looking at the clock behind them. It was six just now...

He shuffled his feet, trying to think of a clever way out of this situation. "I was being... seriously sarcastic." Everyone raised an eyebrow, except for Skipper, who was still looking at Private as if he had sprouted a second head. "See, 'cuz I haven't. Seen a girls underwear before. I mean, when would I have? So I said that... and I was being serious... but I sounded like I was being sarcastic." He tried to explain. Marlene shook her head, and Rico wrinkled his nose at him. That didn't work either, and he couldn't think of anything else to say, except for the truth... but they wouldn't believe that, would they? He took a deep breath, certain he had to try. "See--" but he never got to tell them what really happened, as the door flew open and Navi burst in, looking upset.

"Private, there you are! Come on, we have to go now! I told you to be ready at six, and it's five after. Now we'll have to run for the bus. And I really, really, REALLY want to see 'Up' today." The platinum blonde gasped and shook his shoulders, unaware that they were being watched by everyone, and that Private's face was getting more and more red. "We can watch it six times at the dollar theater, and it'll be like we saw a real movie! Let's go!" She yelled, taking his hand and steering him out. He took one last look at his friends before the door shut. Skipper's face was resolutely blank, Marlene looked as if she was making calculations in her head, and Rico was giving him a rousing round of applause for something he was SURE he had never even THOUGHT of doing yet.

Marlene looked over to Skipper, who was still staring at the door in utter shock, and slapped him a bit. He shook his head, finally able to move and think straight again. "Thank you." He took one last glance at the door and bit his lip before turning back to Marlene. "You don't think...?"

She was contemplating that very thing, actually. But it wasn't possible... was it? "Naahh... No. Not Private. And not Navi. No." The woman gritted her teeth. What if it WAS possible!? Was that even an option? It couldn't be. She looked down and saw her shirt, and thoughts of undies and innocence all but flew from her mind as she went into full on freak-out mode. Skipper tried to get her to calm down, and Rico went to clean up the mess from the table and floor, both forgetting about the previous situation.

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"We just made it." Navi slouched on the bus seat as it started to drive away, then rolled her head toward her best friend. "Are you okay?" She asked, feeling his forehead. "You look really red. What happened in there before I came in?" Private swatted her hand away gently, and reclined in very much the same position she was in, not answering, not even looking at her for a while.

He answered, but he still wasn't looking at her. Private kept his eyes decidedly shut while speaking. "You remember that day... when I came up for breakfast?" He had often gone to visit Navi for meals, since she could cook really well. The girl was so used to cooking for more than one, and living by herself gave her tons of leftovers. So if she didn't bring them down to share, Private usually came up to get some for everybody.

On the day he was thinking about, it was almost ten, and Navi hadn't tried to get them to have some of her french toast. Private got a little worried, and went up to see her. His best friend got a little pink around the nose, but nodded. She didn't realize what was going on until half a beat later, and her eyes widened. "Oh no... you didn't TELL, did you!?" She panicked. She remembered that day clearly. It wasn't one she was likely to forget any time soon. Private had come up to check on her, just because she got a late start that morning and hadn't made them their breakfast.

"Well, it came up in conversation--" The boy started uneasily. Navi slapped her hand over his mouth and her scared/worried expression became scared/worried/angry.

"You swore you'd never tell!" She whispered, waving a finger at him. His eyes grew wide and he shook his head swiftly before prying her hand off his mouth and holding both of them still in just one hand.

He only muttered one word under his breath. "Underwear." The girl stopped and raised an eyebrow, and Private was finally able to catch his breath and tell her the whole story. When it was all done, she went back to slouching in the seat, stealing one of her hands back to cover her face. Private just watched her to see what she would do, and when she let out a big sigh, he relaxed a bit. That only meant she wasn't going to start hitting him. Yelling he could handle, though that was unlikely, as they were on a bus, and she hated scenes.

"Well..." She uncovered one of her eyes and peeked out at him, grinning a bit. "That's alright then. That we can deal with." Private let go of her other hand and put both of his behind his head, as Navi leaned against the window, her arms crossed. "I thought for a second you told them that you saw me naked. Which you are still taking to the grave with you, don't forget." Her voice was threatening, but her body and face were relaxed. Private chuckled to himself a little and remembered that day with scary clarity.

It was true that he saw her underwear... on the bed next to her, after she had just gotten out of the shower. But like she said, it was a secret he would take to the grave... unlike his innocence.

_**End (Irony!!!)**_

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A/N: I don't remember why I thought of this. I don't remember HOW I thought of this. I just know that I had just re-read "Trustworthy" by dragongirlj, and then I was writing this. So thank her, it's mostly her fault. Somehow. Review!


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